Hi, Hello! For those of you who don't follow me on instagram, I'm back in New York and my sophomore year here at NYU is currently underway. It's been about two and a half weeks since I got back and plenty has already happened. I moved into my new place in Soho, was on the media team for NYU's massive Welcome Week, started my internship at Bombas, and started classes.
I thought I was ready to get back into the swing of things, especially after my lackluster summer, but boy was I wrong. In the past few weeks I have struggled like no other.
I've felt physically exhausted despite sleeping eight hours a night and eating healthy. I've managed to lose enough weight where my jeans are too loose and my shorts slide around my hips. I've had to remind myself to breathe and calm myself down to prevent me from crying, going into full panic/anxiety mode, or to steady my hand enough to legibly write my name on the damn sign-in sheet.
While these weeks have been some of the most challenging ones yet, they've also been filled with new friends, dinner parties, cooking healthy meals and having lunch in the park, wonderful professors and classes that I think I'll really enjoy. And when my body randomly decides that 6:30am is the perfect time to wake up, which has happened multiple times, then I get to enjoy some quiet mornings and sunrises, too.
This whole growing up and taking on more responsibilities while trying to figure out who you are and what you want in life is quite a demanding, and lengthy, process. I am currently going between feeling like I can do it all, and second guessing every move I make. I'm working on figuring out what forms of self-care help me the most (if you have any suggestions, please let me know!) because at this rate, I'll be burnt to a crisp before halloween.
I want to push myself to write or talk more about my struggles and shortcomings because I find that being vulnerable is a very powerful thing. Who knows if those writings will ever make it to the blog, or if they'll ever be written in the first place.
If you feel like you're struggling, know that I am too. And that's okay.