Y’all– I’ve been feeling stuck. Not only do I have no idea what I’m doing (as per usual, as expected) but all of a sudden I couldn’t even bring myself to create. My ideas sucked, my photos sucked, my writing sucked, my cooking sucked. I somehow began to believe that I lacked a single creative bone in my body and found myself with a lack of identity or output.
Who am I if i’m not making something?
I think I began to get too comfortable, and then uncomfortable with being comfortable. I think I started to care too much about the output and how people would react. I think I began creating for others rather than creating for myself and enjoying the process.
I felt shitty so when october came around I decided this needed to stop– I told myself that I would make something everyday for the next 31 days. Whether it be a new recipe, going out to shoot, painting something, crafting something I was committing to myself and trusting my abilities to make something by myself for myself.
I missed challenging myself, being weird, experimenting. I strongly believe that creativity is a muscle, you need to work it regularly and push its limits to keep it in shape.
I didn’t make it through the month, but I did total about 17 new creative endeavors (!!!). I feel so energized by my work and in love with the creative process. I’m shooting more and trying new things. I’m posting more on instagram without caring as much about the algorithm or if I’m spamming people’s feeds. I’m cooking new recipes and even cooked an entire dinner for nine people. I’ve made a lovely new print to decorate my apartment with and a handful of new handmade earrings to wear out and about.
I’m moving slowly, but I am moving forwards.